Welcome back! It is always a pleasure to host you in this space. Nothing brings me more satisfaction than seeing people who find enough value in what I say or write to pay attention to it.
Before I begin, I want to express my appreciation for your support in launching my new website and, for those who were unaware, my birthday. Thank you for your goodwill messages and prayers. Your consistent love means the world to me. Thank you.
Today, I want to discuss the matter of friendship, specifically the issue of numbers in friendship: how many friends are enough?
First off, it’s important to understand that the number of people you know is not equivalent to the number of friends you have. The people you see and talk to every day are not necessarily your friends. The humans that surround you are not automatically your friends.
I don’t want to come across as opinionated on this matter, but every fact I lay out here is a general truth that remains valid whether or not you agree with it. This is precisely why people experience betrayals on a large scale.
Friends are generally defined within unique circles. A circle can be of any size, but when it comes to a circle of friends, it has never been about how wide the diameter is; the smaller your circle, the more effective it can be.
The idea of friendship is not about having a large number of friends. It never has been. The appropriate number of friends is determined by the actual definition of what a friend is and what role a friend plays.
Who is a friend? A friend is simply someone you can count on. The number of friends you have is the number of people you can genuinely rely on. If, out of the hundred friends you claim to have, only ten are truly dependable, then those ten are your actual friends.
You can’t count on acquaintances, you can’t depend on neighbors, you can’t lean on business partners and associates, and you can’t confide in colleagues. When you consider this, your number of true friends drops drastically.
Alan Jackson, in one of his songs, the 2017 release The Older I Get, spoke about friendship and how he realized as he grew older that he didn’t need a lot of friends, as long as the ones he had always had his back.
You don’t need a large circle of friends, just a few who stand by you no matter what. The true yardstick for friendship isn’t regular communication, proximity, or even shared memories.
The metric for true friendship isn’t the people who laugh with you. Humans are who they are; they could embrace you with one arm while holding a knife in the other, ready to stab you in the back. The measure of friendship isn’t the people who cry with you either; they could offer their shoulder for comfort and still speak unfavorably about you to others.
A small group of real friends is better than a crowd of pretenders.
No one is your true friend just because of what they did yesterday or what they do today; true friendship is defined by consistent and continual loyalty.
When friendship is true, it shouldn’t breed betrayal. People who let you down unjustifiably were never your friends to begin with.
True friendship isn’t about who you’ve known the longest; it’s about who walked into your life and never left your side. True friends don’t leave.
Friendship isn’t about numbers. You don’t have as many friends as you think you do; you probably just know a lot of people, and they can’t all have your back. It’s just not possible.
When you meet a single loyal friend, you can almost always tell the difference from the hundreds of acquaintances you have. One true friend has the potential to alter the course of your life for the better.
Do you know why the Bible describes Jesus as a friend who sticks closer than a brother? It’s not because of His proximity to you or anything of the sort; it’s because He can be trusted and counted on in every condition and situation.
Though no man can be to you what Jesus is, when you find someone who is remotely close, that is your true friend. Maybe there are minor discrepancies here and there, but you can trust them to always retrace their steps and remain who they truly are. The side of them that makes you certain you can count on them is their predominant side.
Choose your friends with care. Know the people you can trust.
Your friends play a significant role in shaping who you are. It is not the number of friends but the quality of those friendships that truly matter.
Like Alan Jackson, the older you get, the more you realize this truth.
19 Responses
Very apt
A key lesson
“ A small group of real friends is better than a crowd of pretenders”.
Now a question:
What in a case whereby, the one you see as friend doesn’t see you as friend I.e you rely on this person and he’s there to always listen and care but he doesn’t reciprocate rather he have other person he meets when he needs someone to rely or confide in.
What do you do in such case?
Should friendship be one sided? Or let me say
Can friendship be one sided?
Friendship isn’t always 50-50, but if you feel like you’re giving and they’re not, it’s alright to assess your expectations. And after doing this, you find out you’re the only one at the giving end, it’s okay to withdraw and invest in other friendships – ones that are more reciprocal. Others who value you the same way.
Not all friends are truly friends. Everyone who walks into our lives comes with a reason. For us, it’s about holding on to those who genuinely value who we are.
This leaves me with one question:
How do we truly know who the real ones are?
I would appreciate it if my question could be answered.
Well, the real ones are the ones you can truly count on.
Friendship is a great blessing. It has the power of influencing many things.
Drams, Aspirations, Goals.
It’s not in Numbers, It’s in the Quality.
The quality is the true reflection of friendship. You’re right.
Very apt
A key lesson
“ A small group of real friends is better than a crowd of pretenders”.
Now a question:
What in a case whereby, the one you see as friend doesn’t see you as friend I.e you rely on this person and he’s there to always listen and care but he doesn’t reciprocate rather he have other person he meets when he needs someone to rely or confide in.
What do you do in such case?
Should friendship be one sided? Or let me say
Can friendship be one sided?
Love the write up
Thank you for reading with me.
Nice one , I totally agree with you.
Thank you.
Beautiful piece
It’s how reading every of you piece gives answers to some troubling conflicts in my mind. Thanks for the distinct explanation for the difference between friends and acquaintances. I needed that! 6pm
Thank you for this
Thank you so much for this.
Understanding what true friendship is.. Thank you for shedding more light on it.
This is apt. If only a large number of youths can get this message, there will be some level of gravity amongst us.
With time, word will spread. Truth will be filtered, slowly but surely.
Weldone Imole!
You’re a light, keep shining and blessing us!
Thank you, boss.