THE FINAL TRADE

There is a general, unsettling certainty in our world, and it is that happiness is an illusion. This is true when you look at it from a broader, more realistic lens; we see that all around us, we are surrounded by pessimism and doubt.

To believe is to do a conscious work of focusing on the positive. Intentionally tuning our minds to the good. Working hard to stay optimistic. Embracing hope. Deliberately seeing the bigger picture and the silver lining, against all odds.

The actual truth about how we feel lies underneath our mechanical attempts to stay happy and hopeful.

In this article, I want to take us through a different path to not just staying happy and hopeful, but becoming that person from inside out. Making the character of happiness and purpose our true nature, something we embody – even without trying.

The belief that everything is random is not true. That purpose is unreachable is far from the truth. I cannot help but perceive meaning, purpose, beauty, and happiness as things not only possible but also meant for everyone.

We can reach a place where no one and nothing can take it away from us. This true nature, this originality, if at all we don’t have it, it is we who are withholding it from ourselves.

I tell you if we could only allow ourselves to receive it, we would have it; fully and instantly, regardless of current situations. This is true freedom.

HOWEVER, I know of a particular behavior, common to most of us, a way of living that we engage in that keeps us from attaining this freedom. This behavior is our constant trading and bartering with life: from the lowest to the highest level.

An easy example is that we have hours in a day; they belong to us inherently and we say “I will trade this 1 hour for this certain sum of money.”

And then when we have that sum of money, we decide we will rather have a particular object or service that we can obtain with that sum of money. And soon enough, we tire of the object and trade it for something else, or back for money – and this cycle repeats endlessly. This makes us traders.

But here is what I want to point out: every time our preferences shift, we change.

A person who once preferred one thing now prefers another. So where did the former self go? Who are we now? Clearly, something inside us has transformed. Every time our preferences change, we are replaced by someone else. A different version of us has emerged – that is what happens.

Between those preferences, there is a spark. Like a promise of happiness somewhere.

We think: “If I trade this for that, then maybe I’ll be happy. Maybe this will be life-changing.”

You see that in-between moment that comes with excitement, energy, hope, is proof that finding meaning is actually possible. Evidence that we are made to seek and receive meaning.

While this is true, our approach is wrong.

Happiness and meaning are the supreme goals of life. Happiness and meaning are not products to be purchased. They’re not rewards for hard work, nor prizes at the end of suffering. We think we can achieve it through external exchanges: trading time for money, money for goods. Yet we are consistently disappointed. Why? Because we do not know what we truly want.

There is an unfulfilled longing; it’s our nature. Our excitement, our hope, and even our disappointment reveal a spirit within us that is searching. A spirit ready to live meaningfully. But we are mistaken in what we think we must offer in exchange for the highest good.

The highest good (happiness and meaning) does not want the best of us or the best of our achievements. It demands something else entirely.

In exchange for happiness and meaning, we are to give our pain, anger, fear, and anxiety. Now this may be difficult cos we are used to believing that struggle defines us. That without enemies, antagonism, without obstacles, we are most likely not on the right path in life.

We think we can be happy when we face fear and defeat it, when we have victory over anger. But here is what I think: true happiness and meaning in life comes not when we overcome these things but when we no longer choose to carry them.

When we try to conquer fear, we engage in a battle with it, and when we engage in this battle, we assert its reality and endorse its significance. Meanwhile, guess what? Fear is an illusion.

Once we believe it’s real, we have already lost. The same can be said of anger. Anger is only a story we tell ourselves – it’s not reality. One person finds resentment at what another person looks away from; that’s anger. It is what you allow that defines your emotion.

If you don’t bring anger to the table, you no longer experience it; it’s as simple as that. As against anger, you earn for yourself peace, clarity, joy – all of which are raw materials for the highest good (happiness and meaning).

Letting go of fear, anger, envy, and all, is the final trade that matters. This trade is the gateway to transformation.

The highest good is not is not allowed by others. It is allowed by only you. It is your birthright. Anyone can do it. You don’t need anyone’s permission or validation.

If an idea reduces your fear or anger, keep it. If not, let it go.

This practice is not obsessive. It is the sacred duty of every human being: to improve our inner condition.

A quote from Accepting the Universe says:

“There is nothing you can do with anger that you can’t do without it.
There is nothing fear accomplishes that calm clarity can’t do better.”

It is better to approach anything with the calm, rational mind of one who makes this trade constantly. For me, it is the bottom line of success.

And once you do, once you make this trade, just like with past preferences, you will change. You will no longer even recognize the old self. This final trade will end the cycle; not because we’ve defeated some enemy, but because we’ve stopped believing the enemy was ever real.

The highest good is yours too. It is your birthright. You are absolutely deserving of it.

Don’t wait for someone else to give you permission to become who you already are.